她才15岁,政府文凭考试拿全科A;全班考试成绩第二名,结果她选择在房间内上吊自杀,只因为她父亲说了这句话。。。

BlackWarrior     2017-03-18     135216     检举

她才15岁,政府文凭考试拿全科A;全班考试成绩第二名,结果她选择在房间内上吊自杀,只因为她父亲说了这句话。。。

这年头,考试成绩真的代表一切吗?孩子求学的终极目的就是考第一吗?政府各种文凭考试必须全科考A不可吗?

这名马来女中学生来自北马,从小就接受父亲严格家训,她的父母都是高级公务员,她被要求必须年年全班考第一,各种考试成绩必须得100%。父亲对她从小就不苟言笑;她曾经尝试亲手为父亲制作生日蛋糕,亲自下厨为父亲准备早餐,但是得到的回报却是冷酷无情的回应:《为什么浪费时间做这些无谓的东西?你应该把所有时间都用在读书》;《你干嘛下厨做这下餐点?难道你长大了想当印尼女佣》?

父亲额回应都让她心碎。

那年的年终考试,她第一次输给了班上一个男孩子,第一次只能考获第二名。她当天晚上不敢把成绩单交给父亲过目,只是试探著问了父亲:《如果神的旨意证明我不是最聪明的那个,不让我考到全班第一名,你会怎样呢?》

结果父亲的回答令她心碎:《那么你就不再是我的女儿!》

因为父亲这句话伤透了心,当天晚上她将房门深锁,在横梁上用一条毛巾上吊自杀,结束了短暂的15年生命。

父亲在女儿死后发现了原因,他痛不欲生,从家里消失了整整两个月;他躲进了清真寺不断反思、后悔、每天晚上发噩梦,梦见女儿吊颈的场面,听到女儿不断向他求救;每一次从梦中惊醒,都忍不住痛苦失声。。。

两个月后,他回家与家人团聚,他不再是一个严厉的父亲,他开始改变心态,跟其他孩子渐渐能够沟通,找回了消失已久的天伦之乐。

而这一切,是他的女儿用生命唤醒他的。

不久前,我们看到巴生某华小校长在周会上要求小六学生集体在家长面前发誓,UPSR一定要考到6个A。我在想,如果发誓后却考不到6个A,怎么办?这些小学生是不是承受不住打击而可能自杀呢?或者没脸见父母师长而离家出走,从此自暴自弃了呢?

难道现代人的教育,就仅仅是重视孩子的考试成绩,道德修养、忠孝仁爱、品德教育这些统统都不重要了吗?

15 Year Old Malaysian Girl Commits Suicide For Being Second In Class

It’s known in the Asian countries that parents place a very high importance on grades. “Without A’s, you will never succeed in life”, was what we were told since young.

However, the stress has taken toll on several students who took their own life due to unsatisfactory results.

It’s a shame and must this culture really go on? In a recent Facebook post published by Khairul, he tells us a story about a young girl who committed suicide for placing second in class.

The story affected the young and older generation alike, and garnered over 39k shares that we are sure to impact many more. His post which was originally written in Malay was translated to English.

It writes: “It’s been a few months since I’ve been avoiding to see this certain lady. However, I wasn’t comfortable being rang up time and time again, insisting that she meets me. She said even if it’s just 10-20 minutes it’s alright.

Not sure what happened to me, but at last, I agreed. We were talking in the restaurant near my studio.

Sitting infront of me, she only held her head low and I could see how hard it is for her to say whatever she wanted to. The first word danced around her mouth. The silence made it a little awkward.

“Akak really want you to tell everyone. What happened to me needs to become a lesson to all.”

Gulp. I swallowed my own saliva with haste. I, myself don’t even know how to start this conversation, so I just let her start her story.

Apparently, this lady used to be a high-achiever and was respected in her neighbourhood during her time. Her children were successful and both husband and wife were happy being admired in the eyes of their neighbours.

Her life changed 360 degrees a few years ago when one of her daughters was found in her own room, with her body hanging by a rope around her neck with a noose. Her beloved daughter had ended her life at the young age of 15 years old that day.

Her husband was a strong advocate on education, where examination results of his children is always placed priority in life. Whenever the children weren’t up-to-speed in their studies, they would be sent off to tuition or special classes to study more.

Their children were reading skillfully at a mere age of 4 years old. The gap between play time and studies were too great. There were never any fooling around, which caused their kids to not know how to socialize with their peers. The only thing they knew were books and writing.

Up until that year, the daughter who always got first in class, got number two instead – even though she got straight A’s for her trial examinations.

She didn’t give it too much thought. Once she got home, she finished her prayers and hung herself.

During the moments she hung herself, the house was in chaos. Everyone heard sounds coming from her room, but the door was locked shut. Until it was finally broken open, it was already too late. The whole room was filled with sadness as she just breathed out her last breath.

Unsatisfied. I immediately asked, “Why hang herself? She prayed. She just finished her prayers! So why hang herself??”

The mom instantly broke into an uncontrollable sob. Everyone else in the restaurant was looking at her as she wiped her tears and choked on the words she was about to say.

She says that, on the night before her daughter went to school, she asked her dad, if one day, it was God’s fate that she wasn’t as clever and couldn’t score first place, what would he do? The dad replies, “You won’t be my daughter anymore.”

I sat there in silence. Even though she has not told me the whole story, I was already holding back eyes full of tears, waiting for them to cascade off my cheeks.

At a very young age, her dad did not once bermanja-manja with the children. He wasn’t good, didn’t want to learn nor forced himself to interact with the kids.

What’s most important for him is that his children succeeded and knows how to live a good life. Whenever they balik kampung for a wedding, the children liked to mingle with their uncles better. They told more stories and had more conversations because they understood better.

The child who gave up her own life was persistent, she tried her entire 15 years of life to bermanja with her father without stopping.

There was once she baked a cake for his birthday, and the dad commented, “I never asked for a cake, it’s better to just buy one instead. Don’t waste your energy and go study!”

She even prepared breakfast with her dad’s favourite dishes, but instead he said “Why? You want to be like an Indonesian maid?”

There were a few more other examples that she told me. I excused myself to use to bathroom for awhile. I couldn’t hold back my tears when she showed me a picture of her deceased daughter. Oh my God, I just cried and wash up while I was there.

The moment when she’s dealing with her daughter’s funeral, conflict stirred between the neighbours. Some said that she was no longer muslim, “no longer one of us for taking her own life”.

Hence her grave had to be placed outside of the Muslim burial grounds. Others supported the idea and even gave their own two cents. The dad in despair knelt down and begged to keep this story between them as to not damage the family name.

Right after the funeral, the father disappeared and only came home after almost 2 months.

His return was welcomed with open arms as they have missed him dearly. The other children also gathered to realise he was no longer the ‘cold’ father he used to be.

Apparently when he went missing, he stayed in masjids and wandered around.

He said, there were tens of times he dreamt of his daughter begging for him to save her from the rope that which was tightened around her neck which turns out to be a snake.

It will then hang her from a very tall tree which he could never successfully reach her. This dream occured over and over again until he was even scared to sleep.

Now, he accepted that he could not save his daughter. But he could help himself. He now knows how to hug his other children and joke with his grandchildren. He even often take time off to mingle with his own children.

The lady tells me that in life, we should not ask for too much. We can be strict, but even that has its limits.

In whatever we do, even in principle, should not be excessive. I nodded.

Before we said our goodbyes, she said that she came far just to meet with me and wanted to make sure I wrote her story on my Facebook. So that her story becomes a lesson to everyone.

Whoever and whatever we love, take good care of it. Because when it comes down to it, we are never sure if we could get past it or not.

To my good people, I’m honestly not comfortable with these kind of meets. I was scared and worried it won’t look too good on myself. Listening to the lady’s story gave me restless nights. Really.

The face of her daughter is etched in me forever. Nicely covered in a tudung, and her innocent face – Oh God, yet she decided to end her life in such a way.

This world creates a beginning for us, it’s up to ourselves to determine its ending.

Everything is possible with the life that we have. Honestly, if the daughter received more affection from the family, no one had to go through a hardship so intense to end her own life. It’s up to us, who’s alive, to listen to people’s stories as a lesson to learn.

I hope everything is well for you all. As for the lady, her husband and their children, they would have to live with the tragic story for years. You can not just avoid it, nor can you forget it.

However, they approached life better and we hope that God will bless them too. Sometimes God gives us incidents as scary as this as a reminder. Please, stay away.